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File 132742732496.jpg - (69.47KB , 292x400 , Groucho.jpg )
235 No. 235 Locked Stickied hide quickreply [Reply]
1. Don't troll /ask/ ever.
2. Be productive, please, and post things that are actual answers or really funny. "Kill yourself, lol" will not often fall into either category.
3. Tech Support goes to /india/ and math questions go to /calc/ and sexuality questions go to /docta/.
4. Rules subject to change as events warrant.


File 135311427860.png - (43.90KB , 1053x745 , TAR20Background.png )
1217 No. 1217 hide quickreply [Reply]
In my spare time, I edit for an online "literary journal."

It gets good submissions for prose and poetry, but I'd like to encourage people to start submitting essays.

What standards and requirements should I enforce that balance reasonable hurdles for authors and quality control for the journal?
>> No. 1223
How about a length min/max, and essay formatting? Just look up standard essay requirements, and let people go from there.
>> No. 1224
From what I've seen there isn't any. You could flip through a copy of Writer's Market to see how other journals set their submission policies, but for the most part it seems quality control is comprised of the editors just making sure they don't get sloppy/desperate.

Out of curiosity, what's the journal? I'm amazed that anybody's able to publish any kind of regular literary magazine at all, if I were somehow forced into the industry I'd get away with a couple issues a century, maybe.
>> No. 1231
>>1224
The April Reader. I put literary journal in quotes because it isn't something I (or any of the other editors) take very seriously. While we do try to put forth a somewhat professional presentation, we mostly do it for the fun, as well as the pleasure of being exposed to a variety of different writing styles and backrounds.

If you feel like skimming our issues, we can be found at theaprilreader.wordpress.com


File 142647297970.jpg - (498.28KB , 959x720 , IMG_20150223_012431.jpg )
1734 No. 1734 hide quickreply [Reply]
So, hello. Been a few years but here goes, im not going to be all "is it normal" etc.... and i dont give a shit if my spelling/grammer is poor. Suck it. Anyway i have a deep hatred towards anyone and everybody. I feel like sticking my fingers in shop clerks eyeballs and shitting in there mouths on daily basis, i think about killing someone ever 20-30 mins im awake. No exeptions. I masturbate over the thought of battering raping and eating women alive infront of theyre loved oneetc.. you get the picture. Anyway i feel that im always so close doing it. Just one little push and ill kick a pregnant woman in the stomach if i knew i would get awaay with it. I know im not the only person who feels like this, id like to hear your experinces and how it effects you so i can look at myself from another perspective. Yes im already expecting " edgy" hurtfull replys from keyboard warriors blah blah. Why am i still typing.
>> No. 1735
fuck off Tiny
>> No. 1736
Whenever I see a pregnant girl, I always imagine the guy she is with plowing her and jizzing in her. Then I usually either get a semi or feel really sad.


File 13595942677.gif - (440.79KB , 200x199 , 1320213891380.gif )
1356 No. 1356 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
If you could only eat ONE food and drink ONE beverage for the rest of your living life, what the fuck would you choose, brothers?

Me?
A Turkey Bacon Ranch Footlong subway sandwich along with a diet Pepsi.

Your move!
27 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 1748
File 143401100791.jpg - (384.13KB , 1600x1195 , coco-ichibanya.jpg )
1748
Chicken Cutlet Curry x2, Large, Level 10.

Milk because I fucking love milk.
>> No. 1749
Hmmm...it's a tie between green tea and water, but green tea speeds up your metabolism which would make you eat more of the one food you're doomed to eat for the rest of your life...so I guess I'll go with water.

Food-wise? Ooof...I guess veggie wraps with cheddar and hummus.

I'm overthinking this.
>> No. 1750
Lets just say that we are healthy off this stuff forever then?

Penne Alfredo with a thai chili sauce mixed in and chocolate milk.
>> No. 1752
>human flesh sandwiches with lettuce cheese beetroot and carrot.
>water
>> No. 1784
froot loops with strawberry yogurt


File 141310125362.png - (10.83KB , 306x285 , tumblr_static_advice.png )
1675 No. 1675 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
please help me .I need advice on how to be change my life I'm a senior in high school , have the confidence to talk to girls but i don't know what should i talk about,i have low self esteem , I'm always mad people and i always have this idea in my head that people are talking about me behind my back or when my friends don';t texting when there doing something , i don't wanna be the nobody in my last year of school PLEASE HELP ME ,i need this
3 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 1727
Also, make time based goals and stick to them OP.

What are your upcoming appointments?

I have a psychologist appointment Friday the 16th at 9am

I have a physiotherapist appointment Monday the 19th at 3pm

Finally, I have a first date on Monday night
>> No. 1763
The trick is to not give a fuck, beta-chan
>> No. 1768
The trick is to not give a fuck, beta-chan
>> No. 1775
>>1768
That's hardly a trick. It's more of a cliche.
>> No. 1781
>>1675

I wrote a whole big narrative about taking time to develop your sense of self and really learn who you are, but then I remembered that all the kids who were doing that in high school were just weird fucks. That's more of a mid-twenties and single journey (sidenote: don't marry young; as a male there is no incentive or benefit to do so).

I'm instead going to recommend a book to you. The book is "How to Win Friends and Influence People." It's an older book, but the principles are solid. It will essentially tell you how to become a salesman. To become a salesman, you must know how to talk to people, and how to get them talking to you. I'm not saying it will get you a girlfriend--the book itself admits early on that its methods are not geared toward building substantive relationships--but it will illustrate techniques for breaking the ice and making conversation easier.

Also, just read books in general. Become knowledgeable. Keep up with current events, pick a sport and learn the ins and outs (that's for talking to dudes), learn some skills. In a nutshell, broaden your horizons. The more you know, the more likely you are to have knowledge of a mutually interesting topic when you approach a girl. Then give your balls a tug, waltz up to this bitch, prepare to utilize your friend-winning techniques and your vast knowledge, and give her your sweetest icebreaker. I can't help you there; that's going to depend on your personality.


File 14386556182.jpg - (256.27KB , 1920x1200 , 126416557228.jpg )
1753 No. 1753 hide quickreply [Reply]
Last year I had 5 felony possession charges placed against me.
Long story short when I splitting the sheets cause I found my ex cheating, she planted several pills in my house that she had total access to, then called the police and told them bs.
I can prove it, I have audio files of several people admitting that they know it was a set up and saying they refuse to speak out because they are afraid of my ex.

I've told the police, my lawyer has a copy, I tried to get a copy to my DA but that asshole died last week.

How can I legally or mentally move on with my life now? I'm still awaiting word on my cases. I want to move out of state but that will look like I'm running. She's still coming to my area to "suntan" within sight of my house. I call the cops and they say there's nothing they can do but she is literally standing just outside the restraining order distance. Figuratively saying "I'm not touching you I'm not touching you". I've set up security cameras and I live in fear of a 130 lb cold, calculating, redhead. She has a history of poisoning and violence.

Any suggestions?
>> No. 1759
>>1753

Damn. If your defense holds she will probably be charged. Best of luck to to you and talk with your defense to try to get that info admitted. Problem is that if these people don't consent to have their testimony in court as public evidence then the files might not be admissible.
>> No. 1777
Forget law. Punch in face and warning to stay away? Wouldn't suggest this action but it is a common choice
>> No. 1780
> I'm still awaiting word on my cases. I want to move out of state but that will look like I'm running.

From who? From the law? Wait until the case is decided.

From her? Why do you give a shit what she thinks you're doing? If you are truly that concerned about her doing harm to you, then for your own psychological health, move far, far away. Maybe it's time for a change anyway. Leave everything you know behind, get in touch with yourself kind of experience.


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1770 No. 1770 hide quickreply [Reply]
If you had just enough capital and no family, few local friends, and no reason to stick around where would annon migrate to within America? I've also considered Canada.

PS Should I even worry so much about where I live given I'm an agoraphobe that doesn't plan on interacting with the locals anyway?
>> No. 1771
File 144570483661.jpg - (388.68KB , 1280x1024 , 33103861.jpg )
1771
Perhaps this will help, are you looking for a job too?

https://wallethub.com/edu/best-worst-large-cities-to-live-in/14358/

http://www.glassdoor.com/blog/best-cities-jobs/


File 144362167176.png - (121.74KB , 1366x719 , Screenshot from 2015-09-17 12:05:22.png )
1767 No. 1767 hide quickreply [Reply]
is IRC ded


or is the connection information in the FAQ correct, but just china fucking me over.

pic unrelated.
>> No. 1769
everyone go back home we're ok


File 141403786251.png - (207.82KB , 650x851 , de4e3ed07e4c2997d7c9674b81e300c1.png )
1693 No. 1693 hide quickreply [Reply]
Sup /ask/, so I got a question for you guys, but beforehand, lemme give you the run down.

HUGE GREENTEXT ALERT


>Meet this girl through one of my friends on FB
>We talk a bit through IM
>Then she gives me her number, I give mine in return.
>We start texting like crazy, I make the first move and ask her out to meet up in RL
>First date goes okay, she's pretty chill and we shoot the shit and troll each other the whole way through
>She leaves and gives me a hug before she leaves out
>Friendzoned maybe?
>We text back and forth afterwards, she says she had a good time
>After 3/4 weeks of this, I just get impatient and make another move again(drunk texting mind you) and ask her out for a 2nd date yesterday.
>She's totally cool with it.
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
>> No. 1760
File 14407001217.jpg - (588.57KB , 1600x1200 , dump.jpg )
1760
Bad news mate. If you're thinking about this shit analytically, you're fucked. Everything's fucked.
>> No. 1761
she likes you

just be cool

maybe you'll get laid (probably)


File 142924906364.jpg - (109.94KB , 919x675 , krust1.jpg )
1738 No. 1738 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
When someone says they're $20 grand in debt, what does that mean, exactly?

I have $3,000 on my credit card that I'm gradually paying off; does that mean I'm three grand "in debt"?
1 post omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 1741
grand = 1000
>> No. 1743
Thanks for all the info, assholes.
>> No. 1744
>>1738
Yes
>> No. 1745
It's actually not that stupid of a question, when people say they are "in debt" they usually don't count student loan debt or car debt or mortgage debt. People tend to see those things more as paying something off over time (though it's not).

So yeah, when someone says "I'm 20k in debt" they are usually referring to credit card debt or other personal loan debts from loan sharks or pawn shops or some shit. But usually credit card. When you actually sit back and think about how much debt most people ACTUALLY have, it can make your head spin a bit.
>> No. 1758
>>1745
>when people say they are "in debt" they usually don't count student loan debt or car debt or mortgage debt.
Specifically, people mean they have consumer debt. As in the debt is for useless shit they consumer as opposed to actual assets like a car or house. But other than the semantics yeah consumer debt tends to be credit cards or personal loans.


File 141510174689.jpg - (463.17KB , 1920x1200 , 18458-mathematics-1920x1200-typography-wallpaper.jpg )
1702 No. 1702 hide quickreply [Reply]
What would you do in prison?

If i ever got sent to prison I would be cool with it. I'd just get lots of resources on poker mathematics or something, learn everything, and when I come out, I'll be set for the rest of my life!
>> No. 1703
Probably cry for a bit in disbelief that I was caught for the most likely crime. Then I would keep to myself and try to not get stabbed. I have no idea.
>> No. 1704
File 141521203454.jpg - (360.60KB , 1154x648 , Shawshank-Redemption-Screenplay.jpg )
1704
I'd kick somebody's ass the first day... or become somebody's bitch.
>> No. 1706
File 141545129667.jpg - (35.10KB , 343x500 , gal-chris-hansen-jpg.jpg )
1706
>>1703
>Probably cry for a bit in disbelief that I was caught for the most likely crime.

And what crime would that be?
>> No. 1754
For the first 20 days I did pushups every day and I told myself I wouldn't talk to myself at all.

For the next 20 days I quit working out, sometimes I quit eating, and sometimes I talked to myself.

For the next... I don't remember I quit working out, I quit eating, and I talked to myself. A lot.

But whatever happened, I was angry. Just plain angry.


File 142321849829.jpg - (826.11KB , 1024x768 , Desert.jpg )
1731 No. 1731 hide quickreply [Reply]
Are medications the answer?
I am really considering taking some pills to make me a chiller person who can actually deal with his own mistakes.
'Whenever there is a failure and I can't shift the blame to any other factor than me, I just literally get so angry and sad I can't see anything. Today I fucking banged so hard on my desk I managed t
o make the computer reboot. These nervous breakdowns just keep taking toll on my heart, literally
>> No. 1751
File 143549727555.jpg - (98.33KB , 1024x768 , image.jpg )
1751
I know the feeling you're describing.
My suggestion is that you try getting into meditation. Give it an earnest attempt and don't get discouraged by the initial frustration that tends to surface when you start it (I had been going on and off practicing it for years since it was so hard to make it a daily habit, but now when i've managed to keep at it have I noticed that it really fucking does help with my mentality).

I'm not as prone to anger or succumbing to other negative emotions anymore ( the negative impulses still occur but they are MUCH easier to handle and observe objectively).

I really recommend it man.
Combine it with a bit of yoga and you'll be a happy camper.


File 142922075171.jpg - (13.84KB , 320x287 , 1368528836001.jpg )
1737 No. 1737 hide quickreply [Reply]
Hello, I've been absent from 99chan since 2009~ish. I browsed a lot back then, it was known for being less shit of an imageboard, which it was.

How have things changed since then? Are there many old timers left? There still seems to be some quality about the imageboard.
>> No. 1739
Six years. You want us to describe six years of almost perpetual change to you in a nifty post.
>> No. 1742
it's slower and more superior than ever
>> No. 1746
I left when they started soliciting reddit for users. Seems to be a pretty desolate circlejerk between the remaining mods and adminship.
>> No. 1747
Uh... slow and consistent degradation due to aging user-base from the old days with low replacement, plus some server ownership issues.


File 142050194692.jpg - (13.98KB , 176x250 , MahoBeck.jpg )
1723 No. 1723 hide quickreply [Reply]
For the past few days, I've been having slight pain that comes and goes in the left side of my chest, my stomach has felt bloated, and I've been feeling a bit tired. What do?
>> No. 1724
Is it sharp pain?
>> No. 1725
>>1724
Not sure what a sharp pain means. I don't think so?
>> No. 1726
Sharp pain is like what you feel when you run into something: Immediate, acute, and able to be traced to a specific location or locations. Dull pain is like the stomachache when you haven't eaten in a while: it's soreness, like your toe an hour after you stub it, a hurt that comes from an area more generally.

Define your chest—up high, near your heart and lungs, or lower, near the bottom of your ribcage?

How's your eating and sleeping habits? Any other changes that you've noticed?
>> No. 1732
File 142379522740.png - (98.31KB , 600x500 , 13332494030.png )
1732
>>1725
Anon are you Ok ?


File 141372289856.jpg - (16.59KB , 236x142 , IMG_0884.jpg )
1687 No. 1687 hide quickreply [Reply]
I was bothered by my fantasy about buying bronze or copper colour womens second hand shoes online to feed my feet and shoe fetish. I went to a sex and love addicts anonymous meeting, gritted my teeth through the higher power language, and now I feel like I don't have to lie about picking up the shoes my girlfriend or sister wants and find myself with an object I'll struggle to hide or some even more deviant fetish that will have me find myself in a humbler or something else painful. Or perhaps punishment for doing something illega. Before I felt like a puppet master, searching the internet for porn and manipulating people and going to brothels. Now I realise that the strings of my environment are actually pulling me.

So my question is, how many of you watch porn and masturbate, and does it bother you? And, have any of you sought help if it does bother you?
>> No. 1690
I watch porn AND I masturbate. In fact I have, on occasion, indulged in both at the same time.

I don't see there's anything to be bothered about by it. It's completely natural. All animals that can do it; they do it. Maybe not everyone watches porn, but everyone masturbates and anyone that says different is lying.
>> No. 1691
I watch pornography and masturbate. Sometimes I feel bad because it's mostly Asian women, but not so much these days because I realized that it's normal.

I used to feel really shit, especially when I would masturbate to transsexuals.
>> No. 1695
>>1691
But you know, we’re not that different, you and I. We both have urges.


File 142188266286.jpg - (104.35KB , 600x900 , why_dont_you_turn_into_stone_11803.jpg )
1728 No. 1728 hide quickreply [Reply]
Looking for the 99chan planets thread screencap. Cheers lads
>> No. 1729
Here you go.

https://99chan.org/tttm/res/171.html


File 141308349918.jpg - (722.33KB , 1600x1200 , 47cf19af56fb1ba8f9dfee1c6de9869e_large.jpg )
1674 No. 1674 hide quickreply [Reply]
I have this idea for a business. I'll slip a business card into cashier's tray, or behind stock in the aisles, or into a manager's breast pocket. I'll call myself a security consultant, or security engineer. I'll be like a penetration tester for the physical world. Do you think it's a good idea?
>> No. 1678
I think that would just result in you being made in to another sort of penetration tester during your 3-5 stretch for assault or theft.
>> No. 1713
I tried to start a Journal Club and a Psychology Clinic though my university. Turned out lots of people were interested in helping me make the vision, but nobody else would lead the charge. I just wanted to gift the idea to other people. *sigh*, guess neither will be realised. I wish there was a place for me to just dump my ideas rather than implementing them. Like an image board. Is that appropriate?
>> No. 1716
File 141884535219.jpg - (66.49KB , 230x239 , git er done.jpg )
1716
>Is that appropriate?
No because that's just a way to be lazy instead of following through on your ideas.

Whenever I hear this "I just want to be the idea guy and let someone else lead the charge!" thing from someone, it always just sounds like fear to me. If it doesn't work, it's not your fault, because you're just the idea generator, you have nothing to do with the execution. It also doesn't require any real work or effort. It's an awful, passive way to feel smart while protecting your fragile ego from even the vaguest possibility of failure.

Would you rather accomplish something and build something real, or trick yourself into feeling like you're smart by coming up with ideas and then doing nothing with them?

Be a person who shuts the fuck up and makes things happen instead of the guy who is all talk about his amazing ideas and then does absolutely fuck all with them and goes nowhere.
>> No. 1721
>>1716
I feel like this is the advice I've been waiting for all my laugh.

I'd rather not bookmark this 99chan, which will probably get lost in some server problem in a couple of months, so do you know anywhere else on the net where what yu have said is paraphrased?

cheers
>> No. 1722
>>1721
http://pastebin.com/f5bzBp52

Would this work for you?


File 138581919144.jpg - (64.88KB , 1050x1000 , winterlove.jpg )
1596 No. 1596 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
This woman has been one of my best friends for 12 years now. Shit, we even dated at one point. She saved my life when I tried to kill myself. We have shared so many life experiences and events together. She's beautiful, intelligent, funny, and amazing.

But she can also be a humongous fucking bitch. She's always had a mean streak to her and a snarky, sarcastic manner of getting her point across, but the past year she's become incredibly verbally and emotionally abusive. I don't know how much long I can take her shit. My self-confidence is going down the drain because someone I love so very much thinks so lowly of me. But I can't imagine life without her. People are encouraging me to cut her out of my life but her leaving my life might be as traumatic as her dying.

Has anyone here ever had to cut ties with a best friend of 10+ years? How did you do it and how did you cope with it? She's become fucking toxic, but at the same time we still have a lot of fun together and my life wouldn't be the same without her.
5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 1658
File 141037540833.gif - (288.07KB , 800x438 , 1410250626003.gif )
1658
Sometimes I just talk shit to people I'm close to. It's partly sarcasm, but after a while the line gets blurred. It's something I hate about myself. I've lost all my online friends this way, but at least I still have a few good real life friends, since it's easier to tell.

Just tell her the way she has been acting hurts your feelings, and that you know it isn't intentional. Even if it is intentional she will feel shame.

Unless you are already dead set on cutting ties op.
>> No. 1717
>>1658
>> No. 1718
>>1658
same boat
are you intj

>>1596
ur girls sounds ntj too
>> No. 1719
>>1658
same boat
are you intj

>>1596
ur girls sounds ntj too
>> No. 1720
>>1658
same boat. are you intj

>>1596
your girl sound ntj too


File 141741736232.png - (185.98KB , 1284x432 , Untitled.png )
1710 No. 1710 hide quickreply [Reply]
Last saturday I went to a gay club for the afterparty to my work christmas. I ended up hooking up with a guy who bought me a drink, hooking up with a gay couple, with mutual masturbation, and a little deeper kissing than ideal for someone with chapped bleeding lips like me. Thing is, I thought I was bi before hand, but I think after that night I realise I'm just straight, ironically. I got it all out of me, mostly. Also I somehow started talking with a cross dresser who was the promoter and introduced me to his drug dealer friend who gave me something I fear is Ecstasy (it has a white clover and is a pill on it...) which I didn't take and stole 30 dollars from me.

1) Should I take the pill?

2) Should I call the gay couple and experiment further until I can get myself an actual women? I'm socially awkward and girls aren't into that, but guys don't give a fuck.
>> No. 1711
Th dealers name is Robert in case anyone knows him
>> No. 1714
Wow, my writing style suggests I was still a bit drunk when I wrote this...
>> No. 1715
Don't take the pill if you don't know what it is.

I can't tell you if you should play around with that couple or not. Going to them for sex until you can "get" a woman doesn't sound like the healthiest thing though. If you want to do some experimenting and see how you feel the second time around, by all means do it, there's nothing wrong with experimenting with your sexuality. But you shouldn't be going because you can't get anything better, you should be going because you actively want to or you're curious.

So instead of asking an imageboard what you think you should do, I think you should look inside yourself and see what your motivations, curiosities, and desires are.


File 141498150297.png - (143.95KB , 533x326 , Gokuuiu.png )
1700 No. 1700 hide quickreply [Reply]
Wanting to set up a tv as a second monitor. I have an HDMI cable connecting my desktop to TV and in my display settings it has "Display device on VGA" even though I don't have a VGA cable in there anywhere. It also has resolution highest as 1600x1200 instead of its normal 1920x1080.

I think the only important thing to mention is graphics card? AMD Radeon HD 7800 is what I have and the drivers are all up to date. I am sure it has a working HDMI port and my cable is brand new. I also have the input set properly. I've read something like making sure you have auto detect for HDMI or something in bios? I'm not really sure what do.
>> No. 1701
Nevermind, I figured it out. There are like, two HDMI ports on tower. My bad. Ignore me because I suck.


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