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1664 No. 1664 hide quickreply [Reply]
I have A desktop tower that when I turn it on it shows the bios then shuts off then when I turn it back on it shuts off quicker than the first time. Does anyone know what could be causing this?
>> No. 1668
>> No. 1698
Sounds like one of two possibilities. The first is that you've had a thermal transfer failure from your CPU (fan dead/cracked head compound/faulty thermometer) causing a heat overload and immediate shutdown, or the CPU is deceased.

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1074 No. 1074 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Why do black kids put their phones on speaker and hold them in front of their face to talk? I have seen this in multiple geographically distinct regions and it annoys me to no end, because not only can I hear the person being talked to, but the person doing the talking invariably feels the need to yell as well. Where did this originate and why does it persist?
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>> No. 1089
>So more generally, why?
Most likely for the same reason youngster do most of the annoying, non-illegal things they do: Because they can, and it's not the usual way to do it.
>> No. 1096
Same. My dad does it all the time. It's easy to tell from the sound quality that he's using speaker phone, and I've started asking him when I talk to him on the phone not to use it because it bothers me. It doesn't bother me too much, but I mostly do it for the sake of people around him.
If anything, I've noticed lots of teenagers who keep the volume all the way up on their phone so that you can hear the person that they are talking to clearly, even though speaker phone is off and the phone is pressed firmly to their ear. Possibly due to the damage they've done to their ears with shitty earbud headphones.
>> No. 1104
I've done this in the car before, although I'm usually pointing the mic directly at my face for improved pickup. The audio is plugged into my car speakers. I don't really have a decent headset, so this works for me. In public though? That'd be embarrassing....
>> No. 1129
How cool do you feel holding that phone to your ear?

Now, how cool do you feel holding it in front of your face and talking into it like a tape recorder?

A: you feel cooler holding it in front of you.

Kids wanna feel cool. Besides, do smartphones even stretch far enough to go ear to mouth?

SAGE has been used.
>> No. 1697
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Having recently moved from an area populated mostly by whites, Hispanics and Native Americans to a majority-black area, I can definitely confirm that this is a black people thing. I maybe saw two people EVER do this -both older white guys who sound like the dad of >>1096 and probably just don't get how phones work.

Now, in my new town, I see it almost every day. Whether on the subway or walking around the mall or in a waiting room, young black people just love putting a goddamn phone in front of their face and broadcasting their entire conversation to everyone in the area. Of course, these are mostly the same black kids on the subway who wear their Beats headphones around their neck, blasting whatever stupid rap song they're currently listening to, probably fucking up their overpriced headset in the process.

My theory: young black people are attention whores. They love the attention and don't care how boorish or annoying they come off. They just want everyone on the subway, in the mall, in the waiting room or wherever the fuck to know what they're talking about and who they're talking to. Call me a racist, but you can't deny it's true.

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1683 No. 1683 hide quickreply [Reply]
I haven't been on this site in several years. I posted on this site in it's first 2 years or so. Catch me up to speed on what has happened in my absence. Is that bug guy smoking a cigar and saying "indeed" still a bannable offense? What happened to the five points? Give me answers, I need to be brought up to code so I can resume posting on this the ULTIMATE WEBSITE.
>> No. 1684
This is all very pretentious of you.
>> No. 1685
There was admin drama, the entire site got wiped a few times, most of the good posters left, and you can still get banned for being a dumbass.
>> No. 1686
So, ya know, nothing out of the ordinary.

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1666 No. 1666 hide quickreply [Reply]
I have really bad anxiety. But i'm anxious (haha) over what I should do. I plan to get my disability documents, then ask them to destroy them...that is, for the time being, while I try for the military reserves (they vet for mental illness, I can definitely pass, unless they find these records of mine...).. then reinstate them so that I can apply for the internship opportunities that are privileged opportunities for disabled people.
>> No. 1667
There are reasons why mental illnesses are an immediate barrier to entry for the military. You would not be able to handle the training, much less the actual deployments. If that doesn't put you off, imagine how hard you're going to get fucked over when (not if) they find out that you lied on your application.

When you say "them" do you mean some sort of medical establishment? Because nobody is going to do that for you.

I just realised that you didn't actually ask a question. The fuck do you want?
>> No. 1672

No, no, the kind of answer you gave is exactly what I was looking for. Sorry for not asking an explicit question, but you seemed to get what I was asking.

I'm going to accept that I'm not suited for the military. But I like to fantasise I'm all tough and stuff anyway. I guess it will just stay a fantasy.

My experience of anxiety is persistent, often seems uncontrollable and overwhelming. I feel an excessive dread of everyday situations. I feel it coming on and consuming me in the course of my daily activities. I experience everything from social anxiety, panic, obsessions, compulsions, hair-pulling and more - seemingly the whole spectrum of anxiety. Routine activities, or even the lack of activities, or lack of routine, all cause me significant distress. I feel judged, embarrassed and humiliated and a fear that makes me feel out of my body in social situations, some of which I avoid. I get preoccupied with the fear of panic. I sometimes irrationally avoid certain arrangements of matter around me, certain patterns and orders and positions of things which signal a inexplicable danger. Sometimes I find myself coping with such situations with repetitive actions, checking and arranging. I sometimes find myself immersed into some memories that tear at my emotions.
>> No. 1677

You should probably go to a doctor and describe those symptoms, then ask for help. Being registered disabled isn't an end of your useful life, there are medications and groups that can help people in your situation, if you ask for the help.

There's absolutely no reason for you to feel the way you do. Help is available, you might not be able to ask for it tomorrow, or the day after, but at some point you will be able to and from there things will only get better.

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1673 No. 1673 hide quickreply [Reply]
Anon, what is your proudest achievement?

I share my proudest achievement with three then-newly acquainted classmates. We mapped out a third of the geology of Buchan, Victoria on a field, trekking over ten’s of kilometers including grazing land and boggy water with the crudest of maps, no phone signals and heavy equipment. We braved thorny plants that tore our clothes, the cold and rain, aggressive animals and one another’s worst sides. Within a week we had a comprehensive understanding of the area’s overall geological formations and their relationship with broader Victorian geology.

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1669 No. 1669 hide quickreply [Reply]
i need help on how to stop acting childish and paranoid about people hating me and always talking about me , and get motivation on getting my self-esteem back on ,and improving my self , and how to stop being so nice to people cause they will always end up by back stabbing me
>> No. 1670

That's not childish. That's depression. The bit about being too nice is low self esteem, which is a result of the depression. Go to a doctor and talk to them about your symptoms, obviously my diagnosis isn't a sound medical statement, it just seems like a possibility that needs to be investigated.

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1663 No. 1663 hide quickreply [Reply]
Studying philosophy is the easiest way to feel like you're smart without learning a more productive knowledge system.

(Nigger, you should be contributing actual content.)

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1570 No. 1570 hide quickreply [Reply]
So, I'll keep this short. I'm interested in moving to Canada. It doesn't matter where I'm from. Just seems like one of the better countries to reside in. So, here's a volley of questions:

1. How's the law and enforcement system over there?

2. Realistically, how difficult is it gaining citizenship from your point of view. (I'm white if race is weighing factor).

3. What's the demand like for programmers? Bachelor's in Computer Science is what I've got.

4. Do Canadian politics really bother everyone? Or is it kind of out of mind for many?

5. How are "different" people treated over there? Is it getting better and how quickly? Race, religion, sexual orientation, etc.

6. Include something you feel like the rest of the world should know about Canada when it comes to life there. Your pick.

All input greatly appreciated!
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>> No. 1571
>It doesn't matter where I'm from
It... kinda does, you know
>> No. 1572
And why would you say that?
>> No. 1578
Not that guy, but where you're from affects your chances of receiving certain visas, affects your permanent residency and citizenship processes, and so forth.

>1. How's the law and enforcement system over there?
Depends where you go. Generally, cops are cops and cops are dicks. The RCMP is kind of notorious for discrimination against Aboriginals ("starlight cruises", sexual assaults, and so on), and I've had some bad experiences being harassed by the OPP (Ontario Provincial Police) way beyond any reasonable measure, as have other people I know. Generally though, it's the same as anywhere. I've never had any problems with city police in any of the cities I've lived in or visited, and that experience involves not only public drinking but involvement in protests and demonstrations. They're normal, nice, reasonable people who will treat you respectfully if you do the same for them. If you're drinking alcohol in public or any other mildly illegal thing, be discrete, be polite, be honest, and they probably won't even give you a ticket. There are of course power tripping dicks everywhere.

>2. Realistically, how difficult is it gaining citizenship from your point of view. (I'm white if race is weighing factor).
Like anywhere, it is a long, annoying process, an inefficient mess of bureaucracy. I don't know anyone applying for citizenship but I've had quite a few friends over the years who have had all kinds of problems with work visas, residencies, and so on, especially when it comes to renewal after the initial visa expires.

>3. What's the demand like for programmers? Bachelor's in Computer Science is what I've got.
No idea. I've known people with engineering degrees, natural resource management degrees, etc etc etc from first world institutions (Sweden, France, Australia) and they almost always end up working as telemarketers, managers at Starbucks, retail, and so on while they are here.

>4. Do Canadian politics really bother everyone? Or is it kind of out of mind for many?
Voter turn-out is pretty low, but most people where I live are not happy with the Harper government's policies (restricting third-party scientific review processes for oil sands operations, cuts to arts programs like the CBC and Council for the Arts, massive cuts to childcare programs, and so on), and the country is pretty strongly divided regarding the Keystone XL and Enbridge Northern Gateway Pipeline projects. Like anywhere, you have people who are engaged, people who don't know fuck all, and people who just don't care.

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>> No. 1591
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>1. How's the law and enforcement system over there?

It's alright. I don't know of anyone who's had trouble with them. I know a lot of people like the cops. I guess it varies depending on where you live.

>2. Realistically, how difficult is it gaining citizenship from your point of view. (I'm white if race is weighing factor).

It took us 6 years to get permanent residence, 3 to get citizenship. It may sound painful, but many people have done it and so can you (if you really want to).

>3. What's the demand like for programmers? Bachelor's in Computer Science is what I've got.

It varies depending on your experience and specific field of interest (webapps, databases, compilers, algorithms, Machine Learning etc). If all you got is a degree and no experience whatsoever then I don't think you'll find a (programming) job that easily. If you have a few finished projects that show your interests and talents then you should be good. Bonus points for working with a large group to complete the project. I'd say web application and database programmers are in high demand.

>4. Do Canadian politics really bother everyone? Or is it kind of out of mind for many?

I guess most people don't worry about it that much. Voter turn out (at best) is around 30-40% for most elections.
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>> No. 1660
>1. How's the law and enforcement system over there?

Pretty ok. I've rarely dealt with them directly and while once they probably violated my rights (they pulled me over and took my name/address down) I was biking around drunk at 2 in the morning in an area with known robberies having occurred in the past few nights, so I can absolutely understand them doing their job.

>2. Realistically, how difficult is it gaining citizenship from your point of view. (I'm white if race is weighing factor).

Not sure about this to be honest, sorry. Born'n'raised. You
could call CIC (citizenship and immigration Canada) to ask some more questions. I think we recently had some malarkey going on about Labour Market Opinions (I deal tangentially with labour law related fields), and so I dealt with a few individuals who've had problems with work visas falling through. I do think that's more political bickering than anything. I believe being a skilled worker puts you on the shortlist, but please don't quote me.

>3. What's the demand like for programmers? Bachelor's in Computer Science is what I've got.

I can't say for certain about any computer-related fields. I
live in Alberta, and Edmonton and Calgary (both cities) are pretty boomtastic right now with the oilsands and everything. If you're fine with indirectly profiting from envirofucking, the economy is doing pretty swell. I'm not sure if this would directly translate to the programming sector, but you could definitely email the HR depts of a few utilities/energy companies and see what kinds of jobs they'd offer you.

>4. Do Canadian politics really bother everyone? Or is it kind of out of mind for many?
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1659 No. 1659 hide quickreply [Reply]

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1589 No. 1589 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
I need to pick a college major. I don't care whether it interests me or I find it fulfilling. I need a major that will allow me to succeed in the real world or at least land a solid job that allows me to live comfortably and potentially have a family someday.

I don't know what to pick.
5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 1604
Computer science.
>> No. 1606

Or pretty much any engineering job.
>> No. 1642
Being a code monkey and not even having the luxury of liking it seems like a fate worse than death.
>> No. 1644
It depends. For every major, there are a certain number of set tracks that extend through the organizational level. Basically, you fulfill a set of arbitrary requirements, internships and the like, and you gain employment. Grades are actually less important than many of these aspects.

So your major doesn't matter as long as you understand how the system works. Therefore, you can pick whatever you want, as long as you rigorously apply yourself to scouring the department for leads and brown nose with vigor.

Now, since clearly you have never had a decent talk with a counselor, what do you like doing? Describe to me your average day. Do you want more interaction, or less? Do you want to be in the sun, or at a desk? Do you want responsibility or laissez faire?
>> No. 1657
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While it's true that there's lots of opportunity for STEM majors, there is opportunity to have a meaningful, secure and well paying career without going that route. Business school is a legitimate option, but also a distinct possibility that doesn't get brought up as often is Public Administration. People seem to think that this is a dry, boring topic; nothing could be farther from the truth. Public sector employees holding degrees can typically expect a healthy salary, excellent benefits, and can be confident that their 9 to 5 really is that, leaving time to live life and raise a family. This isn't always the case, of course, but it's definitely a viable option.

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1649 No. 1649 hide quickreply [Reply]
I thinking about adding a signature to my emaill with a link to an anonymous message bank so anyone can send me feedback.

Do you think it's a good idea.

What do you think about the following prompts for feedback givers:

What do you appreciate about me.
What do you not appreciate about me.
What new information do you want to know about me.
What new information would you like to tell me?
What barriers are there to us having a better relationship?
What concerns do you have about me?
What recommendations do you have for me?
When would you like to see me again, if it was up to you?
What are your hopes for me?
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>> No. 1650
I wouldn't use it for your work email.
>> No. 1653
Why is it that you want people to tell you about yourself? Constructive criticism?
>> No. 1655
Yep, but I'm starting to realise I don't really need it. I think I was just looking for validation. I just watched a lecture from the famous psychologist Albert Ellis on youtube about conquering the notion that people even need love and I don't really give a fuck anymore!

Highly recommend the lecture (it's not hard to find) and now my question is irrelevant


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1652 No. 1652 hide quickreply [Reply]
I started using baking soda and water as a simpler cleaning product but it leaves stains all over my kitchen and doesn't get rid of the thicker moulder in my shower. What do I do?
>> No. 1654
Use bleach.

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1646 No. 1646 hide quickreply [Reply]
Do you feel like the media severely glamourises relationship turmoil? I feel all the weird behaviour of people, to the detriment of MY desires, is a result of people acting like pop-culture wants them to behave, instead of on their actual desires. Should I just conform to social value systems or exploit the niche I overappreciate.
>> No. 1647
Statistically, half of the people you know are below average intelligence. Statistically, half of the people you know are below average intelligence. I said that twice because it's important. Think about it, let it sink in.

Now, does it seem surprising that a lot of people you know are influenced by popular media? If you want to learn how the system works you should do the following, in the following order;
a) browse 99chan
b) read cracked (yes, I know, but they do deconstruct the ego very well)
c) watch a load of those "people are herd animals" documentaries - I recommend that one about the weather in particular because it's so striking
d) join pick-up-artist groups in your local area

The most important thing is that you understand how *you* are perceived at every action. Once you've cracked this, human interaction is just a subset of mathematics. Unfortunately, this will probably trigger an existential crisis and make you depressed.
>> No. 1648
If you can find a niche, exploit it. If you want to know why people take the actions they do, study game theory. Using game theory allows me to boil down all decisions to pluses and minuses, it really helps me to keep necessary objectivity.

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1641 No. 1641 hide quickreply [Reply]
I guess I could post this in /money/ but there's other issues as well so I will just ask here.

>tl;dr I tend to get panic attacks I burn my money on useless shit and I need to stop this.

Life sucks for me. As I write this, it's been almost like 3 months I am waiting for social services to refer me to someone like a psychiatrist who can help me because I have no money to burn on a private shrink.

I have no control over how I spend my money. I usually spend it on junk food and booze. My job fucking sucks balls working in a call center. I could look for something else but I can't do anything physical because of an ankle issue due to an accident. I also have anxiety issues which results in panic attack and feeling like overall shit. And because I have panic attacks, I don't work and have less money and I stress more cause I don't have money which results in a panic attack and so on.

I need someone to coach me in life. I have a close friend I met online which is the only support I have aside from a co-worker who understands how I feel, lends me money when I need it and is an overall fun guy.

I tried meds for my anxiety issues. I didn't like the overall feeling of feeling like an empty shell. LIke being there but not ''there''.

It's hard to talk about my issues to someone because of the shame and overall carelessness of people who think of my anxiety as ''not a big deal''. I get physical symptomes out of it. It's not all in my head. I have a friend who works in the medical field that told me that it's probably due to a chemical imbalancement in my brain.

I've been awake since like 1am last night when my anxiety kicked it and I am about to go to work. Last time I went there during a panic attack, it did me well to get my mind off things.
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>> No. 1643
Worst comes to worst, put your money in bonds and certificates. You literally cannot get that money back until it matures or you sell them.

I also used to put money in accounts that I would never touch, or accumulate enough false entries to be locked out of. Since I could always use my other accounts, often times I don't bother to reset them. Basically, my laziness works in my favor.

I like to set apart a certain amount, with which I can be ostentatious. To compare it to weed smoking, when you buy an 8th, you should lock your stash in a closet, and keep a dime at a time for personal use. And say, "I'm only going to smoke this until X amount of time." It allows you to splurge, but stay on a budget as well. This method is also perfect for when friends are over. They won't pressure you to smoke all your stash, if you all kill of a significant, yet discrete, measure.
>> No. 1645
In addendum, taking a small account to empty is more emotionally involved than taking a far larger amount from a stable account. I have anxiety as well, and I have found that my mental states often can be triggered by even trivial events. My anxiety would reverse and prevent me from spending all that money, because the fear of an overdraft would be more powerful than whatever I had been previously fearing at that time.

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1638 No. 1638 hide quickreply [Reply]
I've heard an Irish friend say the IRA is pronounced "Irish Republic Army'" or something along those lines, dropping the "an." Is this true?

My thoughts are that dialect is more authentic, especially in the case of violent nationalists who would have no incentive to use standard pronunciation. But, I haven't been able to find any internet links on the subject.

How do the Irish pronounce it?
>> No. 1639
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One of my best friends grew up in a (Provisional) IRA home. The "an" can kinda be silent. They often call it "the 'RA" (pronounced like the Egyptian god), saying things like "up the 'Ra". Or they call it Oglaigh na Eireann (the Gaelic name).

Irish Republican politics can be extremely confusing, especially if you take into account the various splits (original IRA, Official IRA, Provisional IRA, Irish National Liberation Army, Continuity IRA, Real IRA, and some small street gangs that use the "IRA" moniker).
>> No. 1640
What a pertinent answer. The new /ask/ is on its A game.

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1583 No. 1583 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
I want to keep getting drunk but I want to stop putting on weight.
What do you suggest I drink, instead of beer?
I think I'd like to acquire a taste for whisky but I'm not sure what (UK) brand I'd start with.
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>> No. 1592
Whatever you do, don't smoke alcohol.

I know, that sounds retarded, but it is legitimately something that people are doing under multiple pretenses, including that it does not cause any weight gain.

Alcohol vapors that are inhaled into the lungs pass into your bloodstream immediately. This means you don't get any filtration through your digestive system or your liver. It's really easy to overdo it and end up with alcohol poisoning.
>> No. 1593
Well, I drink scotch. My favorite brands are Monkey Shoulder, Ballantines, and then Grants. I don't drink those often, because they are more expensive than Black Douglas, Bannister and Teachers, so I drink those.

I used to drink beer but it wasn't getting me drunk enough, fast enough, it was making me burp, and it was making me fat.

I drink scotch straight now, mixing with coke is kinda pointless, and I only care about getting drunk, not the taste or appearance so much.

Some people have trouble drinking scotch straight at room temperature, the trick is that it only tastes shitty once; the first mouthful. What you've got to do is swirl that shit around in your mouth for 20-30 seconds like mouthwash or your stepdads cum, and then swallow. This'll numb your tongue and mouth a little, and each subsequent mouthful will be much easier to take.

I love scotch. Scotchy scotchy scotch.

Start out with an expensive scotch, not a cheap one. Give monkey shoulder a shot if you can find it.
>> No. 1594
Everclear. Get super drunk with a minimum intake of liquid or calories.
>> No. 1602
Unfortunately for most of us here on 99chan, we're successful alcoholics. What that means is that we can afford to support our habit through work with little negative impact on our lives other than being shitfaced.

The classic wafer thin alcoholic look is achieved by poor people because they literally don't eat for days at a time, or if they do it's a sandwich or cereal. They instead prefer to spend their money on ale and cigarettes. They just don't have the ability to eat a normal diet and drink.

You on the other hand, presumably can afford to stock your larder while splurging insane amounts on high end box wine. (As an aside, if you really want to get drunk on the cheap, drink 3L bottles of cider - £3.50 for 22 units.)

Alcohol, as you know inhibits your ability to exercise restraint, especially where food is concerned. If you have the food in, you'll eat it. If you have the money in, you'll order something.

The only solution is to lock your spare money away in a savings account you can't readily access, and only keep out enough to eat and drink small amounts. Alternatively, you could develop bulimia. It's not like you care about your insides anyway.

A quick google has informed me that beer is about 80 calories per unit and whiskey is 50. It's quite a difference but I don't think it would matter in the grand scheme of things.
>> No. 1614
Salmiakkikoskenkorva. Lest it contain a lot of sugar, it should be perfect. (Real) liquorice kills cravings for sweets. Otherwise, vodka.

Mind you, ethanol itself is pretty energy-dense.

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1575 No. 1575 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
i have an english text (one page long) is someone willing to help me translate it into french/canadian? its on pastebin. needs to be done today. anyyone?
2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 1582
I think French from France, and Quebec French is a little different.
>> No. 1605
I could try my hand at it, is it still needed?
>> No. 1611
sup, i did it. thank you for offering though. goood ol intenret
>> No. 1625

Oh yeah, just like the Spanish, Mexicans, Colombians and Venezuelans all speak Spanish right?

>> No. 1636
What's with the vitriol? We call it French. People in Quebec speak French. Yes it's different than the French in France, but we still call it French.

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1421 No. 1421 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
So, I am thinking of taking up a musical instrument, and I don't want to douche it up with a guitar. I'm leaning towards a violin, though I'm a complete noob when it comes to this stuff. What would be the costs associated with this?
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>> No. 1486

Electric violins are essentially the same as a regular violin except amplified electronically instead of by resonating in a hollow body.

I'm a violinist myself. I can't really tell you what kind of violin to buy, as I inherited mine and thus came at no cost.

I took lessons when I was learning to play. I was taught classical and bluegrass and folk violin by a violin tutor who was a really excellent person. I would not be where I am with the instrument today if it were not for him. He also taught me how to play the electric bass. I would suggest lessons, but only because that is what I did. I'm sure that today with sources like YouTube you could find online lessons. Everything is out there.
>> No. 1494
violin is hard and can not be done over the internet. you will need a teacher. maybe there is a music school that lets you rent out a violin while giving lesson. This would be advantages since decent violins are expensive, they start at 300-400€
>> No. 1529
I vote for this, check out dubspot
>> No. 1580
>> No. 1581
That's the same as learning to play a piano, organ or any keyed instrument, except you could also learn about envelopes, filters, different types of synthesis (FM, additive, etc).

If you're going to learn a "hardware synth" you might as well just take piano lessons and save up for a Moog.

Dubspot is focused on software.

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1567 No. 1567 hide quickreply [Reply]
Oh god help.

I lent my former roommate 11.500 euro while we lived in Ireland and we have since parted ways, me back to Denmark and him back to London. He emailed me that the first payback would be on october the 1st. Nothing came, and he's not responding to emails anymore. What can I do?

I know his full name, and possibly what company he works for now in London. I can most likely find him on Facebook too, but I'm not on there myself.

I can maybe find his family here in Denmark.

The only proof for the loan is basically a piece of paper listing some numbers and then saying "Amount of money owed by X to Y: 11234 EUR", signed by us.
>> No. 1568
Good luck

>> No. 1569
If you have something signed by him, you can pursue legal action.
>> No. 1574
Well shit, last night I suddenly received a phonecall from him. He is in Germany now, things got messed up in London. Looks like he didn't screw me over, huh? Since he made that call.

 i am a sage fag

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1448 No. 1448 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
My question is short. What do I do to make myself happy? Not just amused by some video game or high on some substance I can't take sustainably, but happy with my life.

Here's the situation. I failed my last stage of education, and was supposed to go back to the same school and finish the subjects I missed, but I slipped because I didn't fit into the class, so I started skipping, doing work from home, and now it looks like I won't finish this term.

I lost my mother three years ago, and I feel incredibly lonely and depressed. I've also finally been diagnosed with ADD, having initially gotten help for suspected Aspergers.

I had a very short relationship that left me worse off than before, and I have no idea how to get into one. I feel like being in a healthy relationship would make me so much more happy, but I really have no idea what to do. I tried going to clubs, on a cruise, on dating sites... Nothing works. On the dating site I met one nice girl who I could probably have hit it off with if it weren't for the fact that she was a 3 hour drive from the city she said she was in. Clubsluts don't seem to want a relationship, or just aren't worth the hassle of trying to woo.

I think being in a relationship would really boost me the most in terms of happiness, but how do I become happy? That's what matters the most.
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>> No. 1561
Relationships tend to work in reverse in a lot of ways. You know the whole "opposites attract" thing? You'll be able to find a relationship much easier if you give up on it for now (assume it to be inevitable,) and focus on doing things to fulfill yourself right now. Check out the Blueprint Decoded by Real Social Dynamics for info on relationships and making deep identity level changes.

I don't mean just going back to school.
Go do everything you thought you couldn't.
Everything that'll earn you a bit of satisfaction.

You'll end up in a much higher quality relationship, that may even last longer, if you've attracted someone who's of similar mind. I get the feeling two happier people would work better than two needy types.
>> No. 1562
You need a healthy relationship with yourself before you can have a healthy relationship with anybody else. Work on you and the rest will come when you are ready. If you desperatly think that you're ready and focus on how ready you are you will not make progress towards what you want but instead develop an attitude of self loathing and entitlement which will leave you baffled because you have already convinced yourself you're prime material for relationships and the problem is with everyone else.
>> No. 1563
Yeah, don't try to make yourself happy through relationships. You will only make everything worse for you. Sure, it sucks now, but spending the time alone to find your own happiness, to work on goals, etc., will make it easier for you later to find a real, meaningful relationship. But you're young and you shouldn't be looking for real, meaningful relationships yet, because you don't understand them. You've admitted to not even understanding yourself.

Find hobbies, go to school (or not, which is also), and discover things you like that don't rely on others. You won't listen to any of this or the similar things everyone else is saying, but maybe you will. I wouldn't have listened to this 10 years ago in my early 20s.
>> No. 1564
you can only be happy by being helpful

do some volunteering and donate money to meaningfull projects

you should also join the Catholic Church
>> No. 1566
>>1562 Heed this man, for he speaks wisdom.

Trying to complete yourself with relationships is as empty and meaningless as buying the new GTA game...fun, absorbing, but essentially meaningless in and of itself.

The old Greek dude said "Know thyself." I paraphrase him now; "Love thyself.", and, no, I am not recommending that you buy a massive dildo collection or spend all your time fapping. But it seems to me that you do need to learn to love and respect yourself. Once you are able to reach that level, you will not have a junkie's craving for relationships and the approval of other people...and you may find that these things fall into your lap of their own accord. Hell; taken to a high enough level, you might become so enlightened as to become a new Buddha!

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