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15155 No. 15155 Locked Stickied hide watch quickreply   [Reply]
Welcome to /docta/.

This is the place to be for help with your relationships. Having some boy/girl trouble? Feel free to post. Wondering what the best way to please your boy/girl is? We can do that too.

We do not limit our advice to heterosexual relationships. If you are bi/poly/a/trans-sexual, please do not feel that you cannot post here.

A few rules though:

1) Please contribute, stupid, pointless response will be b&. (Also rolly pollying)
2) Do not come here for medical advice. Go to 99chan.org/ask/ for that.
3) When asking for advice, try to use more than one sentence! It is easier for us to help you this way.
4) Please refrain from straying too far from the topic of a thread.
5) Please report posts that you find exceedingly offensive, inappropriate, or what have you. DO NOT report someone for giving advice that you don't agree with.

Name/Tripfagging is not necessary, even if you give advice on a regular basis. This is, above all else, a place to be anonymous. We don't expect you to take on any kind of identity if you don't want to.
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>> No. 15157
If you want to talk, come to irc.99chan.org channel #docta and see if one of us is there. Also, get on to IRC if you're looking to hook up with someone.


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4409 No. 4409 Stickied hide watch quickreply   [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
I've been lurking and posting on /docta/ for some time now. One thing I've noticed is that the same questions get asked over and over again. What are good places to meet women? How do I approach a woman? How do I avoid the friendzone? Etc etc etc ...

So here's what I'm thinking: we make a thread compiling all of our knowledge on how to meet women and start relationships (whether romantic or purely sexual).

Write out everything you know about picking up chicks. We'll compile the ultimate /docta/ thread about the basics of meeting attractive members of the opposite sex. Maybe we can even get it stickied. That way, when someone poor anon comes in here , instead of asking "Where/how do I meet women?" for the millionth time, they can just read this thread. We won't have to constantly answer the same questions.

So let's get this ball rolling, doctas. My contribution will follow.
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>> No. 28547
>>28532
Try that with someone that only barely knows you. Not all of us are ready to twist friendships.

It is better than what >>28529 suggested, but only mildly.


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29209 No. 29209 hide watch quickreply   [Reply]
Well, apparently my girlfriend of two years doesn't love me anymore.

She's the one who started the relationship (she thought I was cute or some shit since 9th grade but I never payed attention to her until 11th when we started going out) and we were happy for a long time, about a few months over a year.

We were tight, we would have sex a lot, as teenagers do, she used to be a nympho sort of, not like a whore, but she would want it just as much as me.

Then, she went on accutane (an acne prescription drug even though she never really had any more acne than the normal person) and she was also on bc, and she slowly stopped wanting to have sex. We would do it less and less and she would only do it out of guilt basically (although when we DO have sex she loves it...).

Now, we're both in the same college and she's becoming ever more distant, emotion wise. I ask her what she feels towards me and she says she doesn't know. This happened progressively and she would tell me it was because of her drugs, but once she got off them she would get better. Now she's been off accutane for a month or two and off bc for almost a month and it seems to just have gotten worse.

Right now it seems like a break up is inevitable, but I'm not ready for it yet. I still like her a lot and I don't understand why she feels so incredibly different now. I also have no good friends that I could talk to about this, and so I'm fucked. If any of you have words of wisdom it would help a lot probably, I hope.

P.S. Do any of you think a relationship like this is salvageable?

Pic not related, I just like cake.
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>> No. 29217
I think your situation merits a little more time being taken. A couple months is not really a whole lot of time to reset brain chemistry and emotional stability.

At the same time, it's worth it to keep in mind that emotions change, and even though you can blame the accutane and hormonal contraception for some of the emotional turmoil that may have led to this situation, it might have happened anyhow.

So you have a couple choices. Sit down with your girlfriend and talk to her about how her emotions have changed, how she feels for you now, and so on; consider how your behavior may have changed, and look at how you got her love in the first place. Rekindle the romance, and even though she may not feel exactly the same towards you, her feelings may begin to return.

Or, accept things as they seem to be, make the break when it happens, and go forward with life, knowing that you had a good run, and it was worth it while it lasted.
>> No. 29219
It isn't the drugs; you're just looking for something to blame.

It's because you're 18-19 years old. This happens when people get out of the house and go to college. It happens to everyone, and will continue to happen to others in the future.

These high school/college relationship things are almost never permanent, especially in this day and age. Our society is set up for people to explore themselves and go crazy from about age 18-24. I wouldn't count on anything to be permanent during those age ranges.


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29158 No. 29158 hide watch expand quickreply   [Reply]
Hey /docta/ I'm 19 and don't know shit about females, ever since I can remember I've been shy. I also have been diagnosed with social anxiety and OCD. Spent years reading on internet, bunch of shit, do this, do that, women are this women are that. Been feeling depressed lately, even online I can't really talk to girls, I never know what they think about me, and I have too much anxiety in person. Sometimes I think I will always be alone while others continue to have success with the opposite sex.

I tend to think about suicide a lot recently...

Advice to get out of this rut?
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>> No. 29214
bump for similiar situation
>> No. 29215
>>29214

http://www.99chan.org/docta/res/4409.html
>> No. 29216
sage for similiar answer
>>29162


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29190 No. 29190 hide watch quickreply   [Reply]
Could not ever being in a relationship damage me mentally somehow? Will this effect my ability to consummate a relationship a girl in the future?

I recall reading an article on MSN covering this very topic several years ago. I don't really remember much of what it said, but I remembered reading it last night before I went to bed and it got me thinking.

As I am nearly twenty and have never had a girlfriend, I've become worried. I've been dreaming about having a girlfriend since I was thirteen, and I still think about it daily; however, there is also some level of disgust that I feel within myself when imaging a relationship. I don't know if I can make it work, or that I would be willing to dedicate myself to a person like that.

I know all of you are going to tell me to go out and try this for myself, but— I am wondering how this will effect me in the future. Is there any hope for me?

Any thoughts on this are appreciated. I hope I've expressed my situation enough for you to get a grasp of what I am dealing with.
>> No. 29192
You must be careful that you do not let your lack of relationship experience (and at 19, it's not a big deal) lead you to hatred of relationships, or giving up on them whole-heartedly.

So you haven't gotten to that point with a significant other yet. Who cares? You'll get there eventually, if you put some effort in. You're young yet.
>> No. 29213
I had this feeling for a while until I actually had a relationship. It was sort of like a fear of being in one, if it was the same thing as you are talking about.

I felt as if I couldn't ever be good enough for a girl, or more like, I couldn't ever see myself loving another person. I assume you have this sort of thing going on, like you don't know if you could ever have a relationship that works out.

This all was solved for me when I got into one. The best advice I can give is just, go for it. Try it out with someone and see if it works for you?


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29194 No. 29194 hide watch quickreply   [Reply]
So, I made a discovery today, thought I'd share it with you all.

So, I really like this girl a couple months ago, right? And, I'm a really nice guy, just forwarning. And she puts me in the friend zone. Sucks at first, but I get over it, whatever, no big deal now. Don't get me wrong, I still like this girl, but now, like, I just don't care. I know it's over, and I accept that, and understand it and such, you know?

So, She and I are hanging out, and she's with another one of her friends as well. It's a guy. His name is Jacob. Real cool guy. At first, I thought she liked him. She may, for all I know, but after tonight, I don't think she does.

So, this guy is a really nice guy, alright. I see a lot of myself in him really. We're at Wal*Mart right, and she see's those tins of popcorn right, and she's like "Oh man! Those are so awesome!" So, he walks over, and picks one up, and walks back. Then she said "oh, you should have gotten the one with puppy dogs on it. Then he walks over, grabs one with puppy dogs on it, and then she said said "Oh, you should have grabbed the other one with puppy dogs on it" So, he grabs the other one.

I said "You should have grabbed the one with the snowmen on it" And she said "But puppy dogs are so much cooler" and he said "yeah, and she doesn't like snowmen" (which I know, of course, I know this girl a lot better than this guy lol) Then I said "thats why I would have grabbed that one"

Then, somehow, he turned around, and she turned to me, and said "yeah he should have gotten the snowmen"

Make note, I'm very open, and she and I have talked a lot, about how we wouldn't work, and she told me it was because I was to nice, and she didn't want to boss someone around, she wants someone to boss her around.

This is just one of the many things that he was doing, that I had done, and I saw how it was all wrong.
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>> No. 29196
thats an observation, at best.
>> No. 29212
Maybe you guys can have a threesome of awkward wierd-asses.


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29208 No. 29208 hide watch quickreply   [Reply]
This is a question to the girls on here. If you were having a great night with a guy and you ended up going back to your/his place and once you got naked you saw he had back hair would you not let him have sex with you?
>> No. 29210
That highly depends upon the girl and the back-carpet in question. I'm all right with a little hair, but I'm disinclined to let a chia pet nail me. Some girls however, like a man with a lot of hair on him.
>> No. 29211
No, it wouldn't bother me at all. On the scale of what I look for in a sexual partner, their body hair and its location comes about last on my list of priorities.


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29143 No. 29143 hide watch expand quickreply   [Reply]
What would be the best way to get someone who is in love with me back into the friendzone without crushing that person entirely?
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>> No. 29173
In short, being honest but kind is usually the best way to go about it.
>> No. 29197
>>29173
how about in long, cause I kind of figured not being mean was the way to go
>> No. 29207
>>29197 Something along the lines of, "you're a great girl, but I'm not interested in anything more than friendship."

Expand from there if need be.


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29199 No. 29199 hide watch quickreply   [Reply]
A young lady told me yesterday that I was a foolish person for not dancing with her friend on Wednesday (Flip yes for drinking all week). I barely grasp the concept of dancing as it is, just sort of moving my arms and legs for a bit like a spaz, how do I dance with foreign type?

Just face the fuckers? I don't think this should even be a thread but it probably makes a nice change from 'docta, I loves her but won't ask her out'.
>> No. 29200
jewtube disco dance moves; not that i'd ever go into random-shaking-for-a-good-time myself, but whatever
>> No. 29201
>>29200

I once thought like this, and will think so again. Came down hard off the whole metal scene and and swinging around until I find a nice balance. I still have fucking beautiful hair though.
>> No. 29206
My dance knowledge extends to ballroom; what little I've done in clubs has been at goth places, where dancing for guys generally consists of rhythmically lifting and stomping your legs to the beat.


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29203 No. 29203 hide watch quickreply   [Reply]
I love my boyfriend. He's smart, romantic, and annoying. It's just, sometimes I think I'm not good enough to be in a relationship with him. As far as I know, which is repeated on a daily basis and through small things he does for me, he loves me too. I feel as if I am holding him back in some way, since we go to two different universities. I would never even CONSIDER cheating on him, and I trust him enough to know he will not, but at the same time, I feel horrible because college is supposed to be comprised of many 'wild' nights. I love partying, and do so without the waking-up-to-random-strangers part. But, /docta/, how do I know if he feels the same? Should I be worried about him regreting the relationship, or just disregard this thought completely?
>> No. 29205
Well, you could—and I know this is one hell of a revolutionary idea—consider talking to him about this issue, just asking him if he feels all right with how your relationship is going currently. Make a point of stressing that you're not looking to break up with him, just expressing some concerns.


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