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3 No. 3 Stickied hide expand quickreply [Reply]
i'll straight eat the back half a goat while the front half still breathin motherfucker you skinny faggots wanna talk food lets fuckin talk food you pussy bitches

got my teeth cut the fuck out and replacec with teflon coated titanium bitch i got a thirteen million dollar artificial intelligence bionic swallow muscle designed by nasa that can straight push an unplucked turkey downmy fuckin throat fuckin feet and all you fuckin busters

sometimes i order like three four double quarter pounders and walk out into the parking lot and just start cold whippin em at passing police cars i don't give a shit nigga the cops know i eat taser electricity like a german nigger eat mustard that shits lie fuckin parsley to me

the sun don't set bitch i just get hungry at dusk
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>> No. 361
3 year old thread - 20 some posts

yep, i'm on 99chan

And your bragging about this?
You're doing it wrong...life that is...you;re doing life wrong

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327 No. 327 hide quickreply [Reply]
Is it safe to eat the random ducks that congregate around ponds near libraries and such in the suburbs?

How about geese? They have really long necks so they should be easy to strangle right?
>> No. 328
I don't really see why not. As long as you brown the meat, it should be perfectly healthy. Good luck with your urban poaching.
>> No. 367
Indian Drugs


Wonder Sleep


Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

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45 No. 45 hide quickreply [Reply]
What would /cf/ do for a Klondike burr?

>> No. 46
I would report this thread for being better suited to /b/

SAGE has been used.
>> No. 47
Aw, where's your sense of humor, /cf/?

SAGE has not been used.
>> No. 49
God, I hate it when I hear of or see a Klondike bar, because I then have a nearly uncontrollable urge to immediately go out and buy one.

SAGE has been used.
>> No. 364
I'm ashamed of what I'd do for a Klondike bar.

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354 No. 354 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
So I'm looking for a good recipe for clam chowder. Where do I start? Should I begin with the Frogs Legs?
2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 357
This recipe needs more cowbell. It has no God damn cow bell.
>> No. 358
after the milk, but before the potassium chloride
>> No. 359
Makes sense...you don't want to overpower the potassium chloride.
>> No. 360
>> No. 362

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331 No. 331 hide quickreply [Reply]
What did you cook for dinner tonight /cf/?

I made pic related. This shit was delicious.

>> No. 333
Last thing I cooked was pasta with spinach, ricotta cheese and pine nuts. It wasn't that interesting but it's a good go-to recipe when I don't feel like cooking.
>> No. 334
OP here. I unfortunately get all my recipes and dinner ideas from allrecipes. I'm not a shill I promise.


I made this a few nights ago. It's the most hearty, creamy, and delicious pasta dish I've made ever. I'd probably add a few more roma tomatoes if I made it again because they really went well with the sauce and I felt like there weren't enough of them. I usually don't like Alfredo, but this recipe is the shit. Someone else should make it and tell me what they think. I've been eating the leftovers every day for dinner for the last 3-4 days.
>> No. 341
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It turned out quite well. I used too much lemon though, it had a bit of a dull rather than spicy flavour because of it.
>> No. 343
I haven't cooked in days because I've been hungover. I'm making this post for two reasons, firstly to tell you that I'm doing a roast tomorrow and I'll upload a photo of it. Secondly, I'm committing myself to actually cooking, hopefully by telling you lot I'll motivate myself to actually do it.
>> No. 353
Threw water, rice and soymeat into a metal bucket and heated it up with some salt.

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326 No. 326 hide quickreply [Reply]

Ok. Let me just say it. Cannibalism.

Do you think this may be a temporary satiator?
>> No. 342
Considering the horrors of prions, I am not eating human flesh for no other reason than I don't want to die a terrible neurodegenerative death. That said, thighs are the cut you can almost safely eat, right?
>> No. 347
As long as you don't eat someone who is suffering from a prion disease, you won't get it yourself. Just don't eat anyone with Creutzfeld Jakob's, BSE or kuru. If you're that frightened of prion diseases you best stop eating meat altogether as it is in no way something exclusively related to cannibalism.

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338 No. 338 hide quickreply [Reply]
If I eat 4 of these in one sitting does that make me a fatty?
>> No. 339
>> No. 345
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270 No. 270 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
how does /cf/ feel about the savory pie?
1 post and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 273
Dear God. I must have one, but they are not common in my area of the US.
>> No. 301
I can't believe nobody noted that the meat filling is completely uncooked.
>> No. 311
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pies, pasties...oh hellz yes
>> No. 312
>>301 Are you sure? That looks like pork pie to me, which can end up a little pink depending on what kind of seasonings/salting/etc. were used on the filling... mine in school was fully cooked and looked a bit like that.
>> No. 340

Pasties are also HUEG in Upper Michigan. They're a fucking religion up there.

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332 No. 332 hide quickreply [Reply]
What does /cf/ think of bacon squeeze?
>> No. 335
holy shit that looks terrible

I wonder if it tastes good

maybe I should get some

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336 No. 336 hide quickreply [Reply]
Here's my maily food budget over the last week and a half. Recommendations?

Haircut kit24
Black ink cartridge19
Black ink15
Protein powder23
Milk 5
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283 No. 283 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Today, Fronk has decided to embark on an epic journey to make Pretzels. Delicious, yummy, and fluffy pretzels.

It was a strange trip, indeed. I started off very excited! Yeast, brown sugar, salt, and some flour! Little bit of water and boom! It's all coming together!
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>> No. 294
Hella fluff, bro. I enjoyed them intensely.
>> No. 295
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>> No. 302
When the dough is difficult to roll out, it just needs to be covered and left to set for a bit. Also, I can see from your finished product that you didn't knead the dough enough (or at all?). Anyway, glad you enjoyed them. I'm a baker, by the way.
>> No. 305
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>> No. 329
god damnit fronky

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192 No. 192 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
I made these today. It was basically my second time ever making cookies. I think they turned out alright, all things considered though.

4 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 215

Where's the fun in that? They're supposed to look like poop, after all. Pardon me for getting in touch with my inner child.
>> No. 227
They look like shit.
>> No. 230
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They're supposed to!
>> No. 231
they look great OP.
>> No. 324
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Seriously, they look like shit. Actual shit. Like, the kind of shit you take when your stomach is fucked up.

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321 No. 321 hide quickreply [Reply]
I've recently come across one of my favorite new things to cook, savory mushrooms.

You take 20-30 button mushrooms, and I like to cut the end off the stem and halve them if they are large, and put them in a big bowl. Drizzle a quarter cup of good olive oil on them, enough to cover them thoroughly. Add a few fresh rosemary cuttings, a sprinkle of basil and oregano, a half teaspoon of salt, half teaspoon of pepper, a little celery salt if you have some, and either a crushed garlic lobe or a quarter teaspoon of garlic powder.

You can be as flexible as you like with the spices.

Put these bitches in a baking dish and lay them out flat, the put in a preheated 200C heated oven for 20-30 minutes.

Serve them on their own, or with crumbled walnut and baby spinach.

They are an amazing side, or accompaniment to a meat platter, garlic breads and pizza.

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235 No. 235 hide quickreply [Reply]
Rice thread please!

How do you like to prepare rice? What do you like to put in it? Do you use any sort of sauce or dressing? Or seasonings? Recipes or suggestions welcome, better if you provide pictures! Thanks /cf/!
>> No. 244
Plain ol' long-grain or basmati rice goes in the rice cooker at the ratio of 1 cup rice to 2.25 cups water. Jasmine/sticky/brown rices get almost 2.5 cups. Regular Chinese rice only gets 2, I think (it's been a while). Soaking the rice in water for fifteen minutes before cooking lets the water penetrate better, but you might need slightly less water. It's a good technique for brown rice, which has the external layer that impedes water penetration. Some people prefer to rinse the rice first - this washes away extra starch which causes the grains to stick together (it also throws off the liquid measurements, so you'll be forced to guesstimate and learn by experience).

For a flavor boost, heat a tablespoon of oil and toast a teaspoon of whole cumin seeds in it - add this to the rice + water before cooking. Especially nice with basmati.

You can also substitute some kind of stock for part/all of the water. Or throw in a bit of bouillon for flavor. Really, just go experiment. Rice is like blank paper ready for you to draw on.
>> No. 313
I do Peruvian rice the way my grandma taught me. I dice up some garlic and fry it up in some oil, then I add he rice and brown it in the oil too. Then you turn the heat all the way down low and add the water and salt.

To do spanish rice I just add onions to the frying process and tomato sauce in with the water, then you can add pretty much any ingredient that is normally in salsa. I would add tomatoes at the very end so they would just steam a little. If you add cilantro add it just before serving.
>> No. 314
I usually cook my rice in chicken stock when I have it.
>> No. 316
Raisins, apricots and curry with rice make for a nice dish on its own or a good complement to, say, pork.

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234 No. 234 hide quickreply [Reply]
So. I'm planning on buying and cooking lungs soon. My plan is to brown them in a garlic-butter-herb sauce and then braise them in a very sharp white wine (Chenin Blanc, probably). Served in small cubes with roast potatoes and rocket salad. Thoughts and/or tips?
>> No. 236
I like this idea, it's new and interesting! As an alternative I would roast them with a salt, pepper and herb rub with the potatoes in the oven at a low heat for a long time. Maybe with some oil oil on the pan. I know nothing about lungs but i imagine a better texture this way? I don't know... Good luck! Please post pictures of whatever way you try! Thank you!
>> No. 310
What sort of filling will you be using?

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229 No. 229 hide quickreply [Reply]
I love everything from Tim Horton's. I live in the North East USA, so everything I ever purchase seems to be exceptionally fresh, quality being at it's finest (as it can be) in my opinion. Everything from the coffee to the sandwiches, I love it all.

In fact, I prefer ordering a black coffee and BLT over a home brewed mug and a self mad sub.

Anyone else love Tim Horton's as much as I do?
>> No. 233
I like getting a jalapeno bagel with cream cheese. Try it out.

Former cook of a Tim's here. Yes, everything from the bread sticks to the donuts comes in frozen in boxes and we superheat the thing in a small oven after spreading them on metal treys. Coffee comes in individual pouches for easy making. The soups are powdered soups but they are surprisingly decent. Can't recall how fresh the meat is there but I know they don't cut the slices at the restaurant. At least, not where I worked. I know the sugar spreading over the donuts is like a mix of magic powder, sugar and another thing. Can't recall it's been too long. Such donuts like the boston ones are filled with a rotating machine of sorts that we punch a number in for the right amount of filling for the right kind of donut. Finally, the iced cappucino drink is mainly syrup in bags that they fill the machine with.
>> No. 297
Aye, I do. I cannot imgine a world where Tims doesn't exist, though.
>> No. 307
You really don't even have to make an effort. Just sit in your chair and close your eyes, you'll be there in a matter of moments.

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300 No. 300 hide quickreply [Reply]
A hearty breakfast for Fronk as he spends yet another grueling day in the salt mines.


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197 No. 197 hide expand quickreply [Reply]
Hey. I want to ask how unhealthy, how much I am fucking myself up, if I eat 100-200 gram of chocolate biscuits, chocolate wafer bars, chocolate digestive bars, that sort of thing, every day. Maltesers, Kit-Kat, Twix, and so on.. it's the only type of candy that can fill this craving, this hunger I get (usually when I am down, which I am a lot, but thats another story).
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>> No. 223
Replace your cravings with mixed nuts yum
>> No. 225
+ raisins! You can also put salty peanuts and raisins in your salad, that's fucking delicious even though it might sound weird.
>> No. 254
Yeah, it's probably an sugar addiction. Try reducing your consumption gradually. First every other day, then twice a week, then once a week.
>> No. 257
You've become used to sensory input patterns. Just like smokers who still feel the need to "be doing something with their hands" even if they're on nicotine patches, you feel the need to bite on something crunchy and sugary.

The only way I know of to get out of the habit is to stop it cold turkey. It'll take 90 days to unlearn your habit, and during that time you will feel irritable and be short tempered. Still, 90 days to extend your life by at least 5 years is worth it, and you'll start to feel better every day too.

Good luck if you decide to do it, if not I hope you enjoy yourself anyway.
>> No. 278
Why are they called digestive biscuits, anway? Do they have added fiber in them or something?

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259 No. 259 hide quickreply [Reply]

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249 No. 249 hide quickreply [Reply]
So I just moved into my first house and for the first time I don't have someone providing decent meals for me on a regular basis. Then a question hit me. How does one.... make food? This is both a literal and philosophical question.

What I want from you guys is some recommendations for easy and healthy meals I can make for myself, as I am getting so sick and tired of eating out
>> No. 250
First of all, buy a rice cooker. Rice is a miracle food. A rice cooker makes cooking rice easy, and you'll always have rice on-the-ready.

Carrots, celery, chopped up. Whatever other crazy vegs you want. Your choice of meat/tofu. I fry up a bunch of tofu. Depending on how big your freezer is, you can prepare big batches and just spoon out some stir fry mix whenever you want stir fry. Oyster sauce (not too much!), soy sauce, cayenne/garlic/onion powders, a little sesame oil for the pan. I also like to put some kimchi in there. Once you actually have all the ingredients, the prep time is only like 10 minutes.

Tacos also means you don't need to prepare that-taco-meat every time you want tacos. Refried beans, sprouts/lettuce, tomatoes/onions (or pico de gallo], cheese, sour cream, [cholula] hot sauce. This is a delicious taco, man, and it's ready with like 5 minutes prep time.
Quesadillas are also really easy - I'm going to tell you my secret recipe I've been eating several days weekly for like 3 years now. Tortilla. Put cheese and pepperoni on tortilla. Fold. Set iron on it for a few minutes. Bam - pizzadilla. You could also just microwave it a few mins, if you have a microwave.

Speaking of pizza, you can make like 4 mini pizzas at once with pita bread. Tomato sauce, cheese, pepperoni - or whatever you want, really. Put four of those in your oven and cook it for a few minutes @425.

Pasta + that tomato sauce. I rarely eat spaghetti-type foods, but this is a great option for you.

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>> No. 253
Buying a rice cooker is decent advice, though rice isn't hard to make in a pot (2:1 water to rice ratio, bring it to a boil, once it boils, turn it down to minimum heat, cover, and let cook for 40-50 minutes).

Stir-fries were a godsend to me when I first moved out and started cooking for myself. It's a very simple thing to make taste good. Make some rice, fry some chopped veggies, nuts, meat or meat alternatives (to save $$$, I would only use meat once or twice a week), splash some soy sauce on the veggies while they cook, then dump that shit on your plate, dump the rice on there, add some more soy sauce if you like and voila.

Curries are also a great way to make tasty stir-fries. Once your veggies/meat are almost done frying, pour in some coconut milk, a nice big glob of coconut oil, and scoop on some curry powder. Mix it around until the curry has a thick, creamy consistency (don't over-do it on the coconut milk). Again, dump that on some rice and you are good to go.

Like >>250 said, make a large batches of things and keep them in the freezer. A big pot of chili (black beans, kidney beans, tomato sauce/soup, chili powder, cayenne pepper, mushrooms, corn) which you then dish into single-serving size containers and put in the freezer. Quick, nutritious meals for when you don't have time to cook.

Having a slow cooker is nice. Once or twice a month I'll go to the butcher shop and see if there is some kind of pork, beef, or bison roast on sale. If there is, I'll pick one up, throw it in the crock pot with a can of cream of mushroom soup and some diced potatoe. After 4-6 hours, the roast will be cooked, so I pluck it out, slice it up and ladle some of the potato/mushroom/roast run-off gravy soup thing onto it. You can also make stew in the slow cooker really easily. Chopped potatoes, peas, sliced carrots, diced onion, leek, mushrooms, and a sliced chicken breast or two or some chunks of beef, add some water and some salt and pepper and you'll have a nice pot of stew in 3 hours or so.

For lunches to take to work/school, get sandwich or wrap stuff (deli meat, mayo/mustard/whatever spreads you like, whole grain bread or wraps, lettuce... You could also make a big pot of burrito fixin's (cook some ground beef, sliced peppers, chili powder) and then a serving or two of that into a container and take it to work with a wrap or two, some lettuce and a container of shredded cheese. Put together a burrito for yourself at work. Yummy.

For breakfast, I like to make oatmeal in a 50/50 water/almond milk mixture. A little honey on that.

You'll save money by buying your staple ingredients in bulk (beans, chickpeas, rice, quinoa, etc) and supplementing that with fresh veggies. Grocery shop with weekly meal plans in mind (what do I need for quick breakfasts before work? What do I need for lunch at work?) and make larger batches which you can then keep in the fridge and eat over 2-3 days or keep in individual servings in the freezer and eat over 2-3 weeks.
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