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File: 123291245312.jpg-(25.60KB, 383x480, clinton.jpg)
4 No. 4 Locked Stickied watch
Hello, and welcome to our domain. This is the official /eastwood/ tutorial and FAQ on manliness. In here we will go through a man's day, cover the common misconceptions of manliness. Any of your questions that you don't see here, can go into /eastwood/. Now, let's begin.

Okay, so you want to be manly? Go into your bathroom, throw away all of your conditioners, lotions, and hair spray. This is a no faggotry zone. Faggots have invaded our lives, and our women love them. Okay, that's cool, we as men accept and tolerate faggotry. But our women have gotten the idea that men should become faggots, AKA "Metrosexuals". NO MORE. In order to fight the metrosexuals, we must stay resilient.

Now, I suspect you're a borderline metro, and wondering how to start? Firstly, throw away all your shirts (excluding dress shirts & tuxedos) that cost over $30 USD. You do not need them. Throw away all jeans that aren't Levi's and have those faggy rips and holes in them. Jeans are there for their durability, not their fashion. Premade holes defeat this purpose, yes? Now that we've gotten those clothes out of they way, go around and look for anything faggy, and throw it away. Some of these may be lotions, perfumes/colognes, conditioners, anything a woman would want that you don't need. And thirdly, cut your fucking hair. Unless your in a band, long hair isn't cool.
>> No. 5
Now that we've gotten rid of the undesirable items, let's get rid of some of the common lingo and actions that a faggot may do.

Firstly, commenting that someone's shirt is "cool" or you love their pants, or whatever is girly as hell and you should be ashamed of yourself. Clothing is there to shield you from the weather and to cover your junk, nothing else. Next, become stolid. Show no emotion, absolutely none. No laughter, no sadness, no hapiness, you are essentially a robot. You are a rational man. Now there are two exceptions to this rule. 1, if you're with your woman or by yourself, any emotions (aside from sadness/sensitivity, don't be a pussy) is okay. Being a logical and rational man, bottling up emotions for several years straight could be dangerous and could cause you to burst out emotionally like a pussy in front of others. In order to avoid this, you have to smile or frown occasionally by yourself. Now, this doesn't mean go all vagina on yourself and start crying in the fetal position at midnight. The second exception is anger. I don't mean start screaming at people because they call you a faggot, this is a sign of insecurity. A simple frown/scowl and kicking said person's ass is perfectly acceptable. Also, do not do "man hugs" or "high fives". This is a sign of affection for someone (even on a strictly platonic level it's pretty gay) and is a sign of weakness. If you show a sign of affection for someone, they could be used against you by your enemies. Don't be strictly homophobic, however, use your judgement.

as for lingo? Avoid fad words like "awesome" or what may have you. Only speak when necessary, and don't use your opinions, use only fact or theories. Don't interject religion or politics, that's pointless. Using these tips, and rationality, you can become much more manly.
>> No. 6
1. Does this mean I shouldn't shower, shouldn't brush my teeth, and not clean my dishes?

What? No. Quit using manliness as and excuse to be a slob. There are some things you can't avoid. In order to be a man, you must be a functioning member of society, and it's impossible to do that (IE getting a job) when you smell like shit.

2. Wait, if we're supposed to be fighting the gays does that mean I should persecute them?

No. We are tolerable of gays, what we are fighting against is the assimilation of gays into pop culture. We are fighting against becoming gay.

4. Wait, but the point of manliness is to get pussy, so doing anything to get it makes manly right? Even becoming gay?

NO. NO. NO. This is a huge misconception by most college-age douchebags. Men don't think about pussy, men can go without pussy. That blow your mind? MEN. DON'T. NEED. PUSSY. Pussy is fun, sure, but the whole bend over backwards for pussy is causing the phenomenon that we are stuck in now. If a woman doesn't want you because you're manly, fuck her.

For further manly reading, check out the Alphabet of Manliness by Maddox. It's not 100% accurate, but it's got some good stuff in there.
>> No. 137
File: 123302825912.jpg-(56.41KB, 398x269, 1226269640231.jpg)
137
I can tell this is going to be a manly board already.
>> No. 148
Here's what I don't wanna see: Eastwood turning into a Chuck Norris or Mr. T like figure. None of that shit.
>> No. 150
>>148
Agreed. There will be no ridiculous exaggerations of Clint's abilities or manliness. He is a gritty, rugged man and and an excellent actor. Nothing more.

He's a great fucking actor though.
>> No. 230
>Don't interject religion or politics, that's pointless.

That's a pileahorseshit. You gonna say the rancher/farmer shooting g-men for stepping on their land aint manly? You think pluggin coppers fuckin with your still ain't manly?
>> No. 256
In reference to question 1, how far do you go for personal hygiene?

We can all agree that there is a line between being manly and being a faggot in regards to keeping yourself clean. But what is it? Is it personal or is it unanimous for all men?
>> No. 262
>>256
Who the fuck cares? This isn't rocket surgery. Just stay clean but don't be a fussy little bitch.

(hint: you're being a fussy little bitch)
>> No. 289
>>256
A simple question.

Wash your hair. Shampoo, nothing else, and god help you if it's scented or expensive.

Soap. A bar of it, not gel, not foam, any of that shit. You use a bar of soap to clean yourself. Also deodorant. Don't smell like a sweaty piece of shit.

Shave, for god's sake. Unless you can pull off a beard, shave.

After that, anything is faggotry. Aftershave, scented oil, cologne, whatever. Unnecessary.
>> No. 313
>>230

I meant into regular day conversation. People get way too fucking defensive about politics/religion.
>> No. 341
>>289
>Also deodorant.
Disregard that, if you use soap you won't smell like shit, there is no need to be smelling like a fruitcake.
>Shave, for god's sake
Disregard that also, men are not to be concerned with "pulling off" a look, nothing unclean about a little bristle, apart from that this man is right.
>> No. 354
File: 123334185979.jpg-(37.83KB, 660x441, viggomortensen2.jpg)
354
>>4
>And thirdly, cut your fucking hair. Unless your in a band, long hair isn't cool.

you're trying to tell me that this can't be manly?
>> No. 378
>>354

We do not live in fucking Middle Earth.
>> No. 404
>>341
>Disregard that, if you use soap you won't smell like shit, there is no need to be smelling like a fruitcake.

Antiperspirant serves a purpose, good sir. It's difficult to get a job with sweat stains on your shirts.
>> No. 422
>>404
unscented antipersperant is acceptable. fluffy perfumed deodorant like axe is not.
>> No. 426
File: 123348118134.jpg-(14.52KB, 170x286, Mitchum-Deod.jpg)
426
>>422
Mitchum, anyone?
>> No. 427
>Now, I suspect you're a borderline metro, and wondering how to start? Firstly, throw away all your shirts (excluding dress shirts & tuxedos) that cost over $30 USD. You do not need them. Throw away all jeans that aren't Levi's and have those faggy rips and holes in them. Jeans are there for their durability, not their fashion. Premade holes defeat this purpose, yes? Now that we've gotten those clothes out of they way, go around and look for anything faggy, and throw it away. Some of these may be lotions, perfumes/colognes, conditioners, anything a woman would want that you don't need. And thirdly, cut your fucking hair. Unless your in a band, long hair isn't cool.

A few points I must make.

1) Fuck levis they cost a fuckton here while I can find pairs of jeans without brand names that last twice as fucking long and typically fit better.

2) What the fuck is wrong with long hair? While the Man with no name may be the pinnacle of manly awesomness his second in command, one Conan the fucking awesome was always depicted with long hair.

3) Related to number 2 albeit more all encompassing, while I agree with the sentiment of 'if it costs over $30USD fuck it' (pending 'it' is not a sports jersey or something along those lines) the idea of throwing things away because someone told you to do so is the exact opposite of manliness. Wearing certain things because other men tell you to do so is just as unmanly as wearing crap because women tell you to do so. If you own it already and like it go nuts, if you hate it but chicks pretend they like it fuck it throw it out.

The whole idea that being manly is merely being 'anti-metrosexual' or whatever is fucking stupid. 'Do what thou will shall be the whole of our law' is at least three quarters of the way to summing it all up, anyone who tries to make more specific rules is likely just fucking with you.
>> No. 429
>>427
1. Levis are cheap compared to other jeans of their sort, they're durable and they don't look like complete shit.

2. Long hair is for women. Just because of all this equal rights bullshit saying you CAN look like a woman and be "socially accepted", doesn't mean it's a good idea. You look like a faggot. Why would you want to look like a faggot?

3. Fuck off
>> No. 447
File: 123351566899.jpg-(19.06KB, 307x351, lemmy.jpg)
447
>>429
>Long hair is for women.

Lemmy does not approve of your womanly faggotry.
>> No. 451
>>447

I believe we can make an exception for rockstars and bikers.
>> No. 494
cutting your hair to get pussy is faggotry. also most of the men in societys where they are still manly, where a man's harem is still doing what it was made for, have long hair. just think of conan the barbarian, he-man, American Indians, medieval knights, samurais ... all the people who tought us manliness, have long hair.
>> No. 496
>>494 Saying long hair is manly is equally stupid as saying it can't be manly. Hair is just hair unless you start playing around with it.
For fuck's sake, people, settle down on that issue already.
>> No. 527
>>496

Yeah, long or short, it's faggots that CARE what thier hair looks like.

Long hair is an excuse to avoid walking into hairdressers anyway. If you go in ANY hairdresser's you can feel the gay starting to get to you.

The only place it is acceptable to have your hair cut in must be-
A: Run by an Italian
B: Witness regular shoot-outs because said eyetie is in the mob
>> No. 532
>>527

>The only place it is acceptable to have your hair cut in must be-

Or any place within walking distance to your house.

Long hair is inefficient and unessecary. Nobody's going to hire your nigger ass if you have long greasy hair. Plus it gets in your eyes and whatnot, and if you're a man you realize that could lead to dire situations.

>1) Fuck levis they cost a fuckton here while I can find pairs of jeans without brand names that last twice as fucking long and typically fit better.

What lol. I've worn the same jeans (levis) for 8 years. No holes. They're comfortable as fuck, and they just generally fit good.
>> No. 538
File: 123372345722.jpg-(27.40KB, 533x400, eastwood n me.jpg)
538
THIS BORED IS AWESOME
PIC RELATED, ITS ME WITH A PICTURE OF AWESOMENESS
>> No. 553
WTF, is that a woman he's kicking? sauce please.
>> No. 567
File: 123380393236.jpg-(25.22KB, 390x282, c_snake_plissken-7386061.jpg)
567
I am too lazy to cut my hair, may I wear and grow it like mister Plissken sir? I ask with respect.
>> No. 571
>>544
FUCK OFF, NIGGERFAG
>> No. 579
>>567

No. Long hair is unmanly, end of question.
>> No. 581
File: 123386629098.jpg-(33.87KB, 400x315, 10103986A~Clint-Eastwood-The-Outlaw-Josey-Wales-Po.jpg)
581
>>579

I'm not going to be some featherweight and ASK you about hair. In the spirit of Eastwood, I'm TELLING you:

Long hair is manly if Eastwood says it is manly. A picture of long hair on Eastwood is enough to settle this question.

<Eastwood with long hair. Long hair can be manly, but it can only be worn in the following ways:
- Unkempt, dangling around your head in greasy strings.
- Pushed back, where you grab your hair with one hand, and only one hand, and force it to lay subservient on your skull.

If someone mistakes you for a woman, you are obligated to cut your hair and start acting like a man again.
>> No. 582
File: 123386984354.jpg-(117.28KB, 500x351, 45_harley_bn.jpg)
582
It amuses me that 'manly men' have rules about what kind of hair you can and can't have. Long hair is no more manly or unmanly than short hair, as hair in and of itself cannot be either. What one DOES to their hair can be manly or unmanly, but thats about it.

Now if you fags are done sharing beauty tips I believe this board is for manly awesome things.
>> No. 584
File: 123387320791.jpg-(20.27KB, 314x394, zabateri-h-heiliges-herz-jesu-9950559.jpg)
584
>>581

If you are in danger of being thought a woman but don't wish to have wasted all that precious hair-growing time, here's a tip: grow a beard. A good, bushy beard will offset the possible womanliness of your hair. See attached photograph for someone who's pulled it off.
>> No. 585
>>584
An entirely unmanly jew fag is the last thing anyone here should be wanting to emulate.

If you have long hair and you're being mistaken for a woman the problem isn't the long hair or lack of a beard. Start pumping some iron and stop dressing like a queer, problem solved.
>> No. 586
>>585

He struck a man blind because he insulted his father's craftsmanship.

Fucking manly
>> No. 588
>>586
Still a jew, still preached feminine ideology, still nothing more than another pest nailed to a cross.
>> No. 592
File: 123388795242.gif-(35.09KB, 240x169, Picture 373.gif)
592
A man doesn't argue with other people on the internet on what it means to be a man.Nor does he look for approval from other men. A man does what he needs and what he wants. End of fucking discussion now go and be whatever men you wanna be and pray to your lord and saviour Clint Eastwood.
>> No. 593
>>588
he came back from the dead after three days. what the fuck have you ever done?
>> No. 595
>>593
Actually existed and wasn't a figment of some jews imaginations?
>> No. 627
>>595

Christ existed faggot, nobody doubts it. Not even the dirty jews.

>>592

This is a board for discussing manliness, now kindly get the hell out before i track you down and kill you with my teeth.
>> No. 628
>>627 real men don't brag about how manly they are. I think this board should teach, not have it's members act like elitist fags.
>> No. 637
>>627
>Christ existed faggot, nobody doubts it. Not even the dirty jews.

Actually he most likely didn't, and historians are becoming more willing to raise questions of his existence. Romans kept pretty 1337 records and guess who isn't mentioned in any census ever? Likely the result of various jew radicals of the time being rolled together into a mythological figure, enjoy your feminine jewmythology.
>> No. 643
>>628

Whos bragging? We are having discussions, on a board about manliness theres bound to be disagreements.

>>637

Because the Romans wanted to support a rival religion amiritelol. Its just plain retarded to think that some niggers invented a dude that didnt exist. He was probably just like a normal cult leader, except people were far dumber back then and actually believed the stories he made up, and they wrote them down. The romans found out, accused & convicted him of blasphemy and killed him. End of story.
>> No. 661
>>643
>people were far dumber back then
Jim Jones and L Ron Hubbard would like to have a word with you.
>> No. 665
>>643
>Because the Romans wanted to support a rival religion amiritelol.

1) Theres no such thing as a 'rival religion' in ancient Rome, the various cults were independent of each other and none had state backing in particular, learn your history you fucking filthy nigger cunt. Know what the Romans did want do though? Tax people, and they did an exceptional job of it as well as keeping records of such things, you vile mongrel dog.

>Its just plain retarded to think that some niggers invented a dude that didnt exist

2) The Greeks invented Dionysus, the Egyptians invented Osiris, the Vikings invented Baldur, the 'Persians' (for lack of better term) invented Mithra, the Celts invented CĂșchulainn, the Jews invented Moses, and then a few more Jews some time later invented Christ, so on and so forth. Try again?

>He was probably just like a normal cult leader, except people were far dumber back then and actually believed the stories he made up

3) Given your posts I'm inclined to doubt that people were 'dumber back then', as if they were I'm stunned they were able to shovel food into their mouths every day in order to survive. Your setting a really damned low bar here after all.

>The romans found out, accused & convicted him of blasphemy and killed him. End of story.

4) Fuck I don't think its any more possible for you to talk out of your ass. The idea of 'blasphemy laws' is relatively new, and of all people the Romans especially tended to not give a fuck about religion in the slightest. The idea of the Romans caring about 'blasphemy' against of the many Roman cults when people were constantly changing the cults for their own personal uses is absurd. Sedition is arguable, blasphemy is not, try again from a less idiotic/xtian-dogmatic stand point.
>> No. 666
>>665
*did want to do
*against one of the many
Also, I didn't call that nigger a nigger enough, so *you are a nigger

Saging a sticky is pretty pro too.
>> No. 683
>>584

And with one post, I spread the fires of online faggotry to /eastwood/.

Just as planned...
>> No. 718
>>665

>Theres no such thing as a 'rival religion' in ancient Rome, the various cults were independent of each other and none had state backing in particular, learn your history you fucking filthy nigger cunt. Know what the Romans did want do though? Tax people, and they did an exceptional job of it as well as keeping records of such things, you vile mongrel dog.

Then why the fuck would they kill jesus? Just because? Pig.

>The Greeks invented Dionysus, the Egyptians invented Osiris, the Vikings invented Baldur, the 'Persians' (for lack of better term) invented Mithra, the Celts invented CĂșchulainn, the Jews invented Moses, and then a few more Jews some time later invented Christ, so on and so forth. Try again?

Those characters where used to explain away natural phenomena, they werent used to build a religion upon. Aside from moses, of course.

>Given your posts I'm inclined to doubt that people were 'dumber back then', as if they were I'm stunned they were able to shovel food into their mouths every day in order to survive. Your setting a really damned low bar here after all.

Oh u and ur 15 years of knowledge. I bet you call americans sheeple.

Give me one damned site that claims jesus didnt exist, with a logical argument, that isnt ATHIESMLOL.com or TINFOILHATGUISE.net.
>> No. 719
>>718

Oh, and Id like to add support to my rival religion theory with the fact that ROME HAD AN OFFICIAL RELIGION IDIOT.
>> No. 722
wow this board is off to a stellar start.
>> No. 743
and here i thought it was unmanly to argue about religion, silly me.
>> No. 790
>>743

Nice defense queer.

Arguing about religion is by no means manly, but handing some idiot 15 year old ass to him is pretty damn manly.
>> No. 800
I'm sure I'm getting trolled here, but I'll bite anyway.

>>718
>Then why the fuck would they kill jesus? Just because? Pig.

Kinda like asking why the big bad wolf ate grandma, ain't it? Although I suppose thats off as the Romans actually existed, but I can't think of a better analogy so bite me.

>Those characters where used to explain away natural phenomena, they werent used to build a religion upon. Aside from moses, of course.

Uh, no, not quite. I mentioned the mythological figures I did for a specific reason and thats because their myths tend to be similar to the jesusmyths. Hell, even if it was a matter of 'explaining away natural phenomena' what makes you think the jesus myth ISN'T simply a matter of explaining away a natural phenomena (specifically, death and the nature of creation)?

>u

*You. Proper spelling on intertubes is manly.

>Give me one damned site that claims jesus didnt exist, with a logical argument, that isnt ATHIESMLOL.com or TINFOILHATGUISE.net.

Gah, where to begin. One, you want a WEBSITE of all things? Are you allergic to buying books/going to a damned library? Quit being a lazy nigger. Two, if you buy into the jewsus mythos you aren't going to view any reasoning against belief as logical because you're not playing by logical rules in the first place. Three, can't you just go watch 'The God That Wasn't There' or something on youtube? inb4 'LOL CONSPIRACY THEORY' or whatever else.
>> No. 806
File: 123448547683.jpg-(48.75KB, 300x183, 818_photo.jpg)
806
Gentlemen
I present you with Devourment
A Texas goregrind band
who have songs about slaughtering pregnant women and devouring their children
and song such as
Postmortal Coprophagia
Devour the Damned
and
Self Disembowelment
and lets face it any man who can disembowl himself while eating souls of hell and fucking corpses is a rather manly man
(just ignore the faggot on the far left)
>> No. 808
>>806

Only cowards harm women or children.

If you want to be manly then make a song about killing nazis with a trench knife or something.
>> No. 817
>>800
LOL go watch zeitgeist again, faggot!
>> No. 868
>Kinda like asking why the big bad wolf ate grandma, ain't it? Although I suppose thats off as the Romans actually existed, but I can't think of a better analogy so bite me.

You suck shit at analogies.

>Uh, no, not quite. I mentioned the mythological figures I did for a specific reason and thats because their myths tend to be similar to the jesusmyths. Hell, even if it was a matter of 'explaining away natural phenomena' what makes you think the jesus myth ISN'T simply a matter of explaining away a natural phenomena (specifically, death and the nature of creation)?

Jesus really didn't explain anything away. Read the bible before you make assumptions you uneducated monkey. I know religulous was pretty rad, but you can't base your entire philosophical perspective off an unfunny cunt like bill maher.

>*You. Proper spelling on intertubes is manly.

Man shut the fuck up. I was patronizing you.

>Gah, where to begin. One, you want a WEBSITE of all things? Are you allergic to buying books/going to a damned library? Quit being a lazy nigger. Two, if you buy into the jewsus mythos you aren't going to view any reasoning against belief as logical because you're not playing by logical rules in the first place. Three, can't you just go watch 'The God That Wasn't There' or something on youtube? inb4 'LOL CONSPIRACY THEORY' or whatever else.

Long story short, can't find one.
>> No. 870
>>868
YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID
>> No. 904
Um guys. Clint Eastwood is a vegan.

(USER WAS FOUND TO HAVE A SEVERE CASE OF AUTISM)
>> No. 921
>>904
That's because he isn't an insecure faggot who has to be all "grrrr meat" to try to act manly. He can eat nothing but fresh organic produce and still be manly as fuck.
>> No. 1096
File: 123592771985.jpg-(62.99KB, 681x960, GeorgeVilliers.jpg)
1096
>Unless you're in a band, long hair isn't cool.
Philistine scum.
>> No. 1197
>>718


>Then why the fuck would they kill jesus? Just because? Pig.


Not the same person but surely you understand the meaning of Pontius Pilate's "washing of his hands"?
The Jews howled for his blood to a local Roman delegate in charge of making sure they didn't stone each other all day.
They chose a Roman killing "terrorist" named Bar Abbas over your precious Jesus, the Romans simply executed the local mandate and allowed this anti-Roman terrorist freedom.
Why would they do that if they were afraid of the Jews?
Much less some "Man God" they killed alongside some beggars.


Those characters where used to explain away natural phenomena, they werent used to build a religion upon. Aside from moses, of course.


Most of those characters were amalgamations.
Also, Judaism isn't based upon Moses.
Please name the "Pharoah" that held Moses and the Jews as slaves and then set them free for me also, as an aside.



>Give me one damned site that claims jesus didnt exist, with a logical argument, that isnt ATHIESMLOL.com or TINFOILHATGUISE.net.


Read through these sources and maybe you'll see what a historian besides the Jew Josephus says.
(And yes that'sXtianity's one "rock-solid" [har har] eyewitness, Josephus).

http://www.stanford.edu/group/rt/CarrierHandout1.pdf

http://www.knowwhatyoubelieve.com/believe/evidence/did_jesus_exist.htm

The latter link is the extent of Christian "evidence" for his existence.
Look how strong they thing there non-case is, that's how pathetic you sound except despicably less informed.
"Tacitus says Christians existed at his time so that proves Jesus existed, you see?!?!"
By the same logic just because Zoroastrianists exist means Ahura Mazda exists and proves the divinity of Zoroaster beyond a doubt.
>> No. 1231
>>868

>implying that reading the bible makes you smart

Haha, oh wow.

>uneducated monkey

You took the words from my mouth, nigger.
>> No. 1358
Due to repeated /r/'s, i'm locking this shitfest. Way to go, guys.
>> No. 2049
I'm going to combine this with the "rules" sticky to save space.

1. Eastwood is your god, no exceptions.
2. No faggotry. At all.
3. The irc for /q/, /eastwood/, /fit/, and /zom/ is #toughguys in irc.99chan.org. Load up mIRC and join, only faggots don't.
4. Challenge my choice for the god/mascot for this board (Eastwood), and I will ban the shit out of you. Not kidding here.
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